The 5 Faces of Death

By John Graveline, Director of Parish Life

November 2, 2025

“Love is stronger than death, passion fierce as the grave . . . Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.”
–Song of Solomon 8:6,7

This weekend, we commemorate All Souls’ Day, when we remember all the faithful departed who are either enjoying the perfection of communion with God and neighbor in love or in the state of being purified for the fullness of that heavenly communion, the state of being that Catholics refer to as Purgatory. There is a gravitas to this weekend’s liturgies, contemplating the sober, multifaceted reality of death. The music and mood are different than any other liturgy during the liturgical year.

It has been said that all the world’s philosophies across times and cultures have been an attempt to wrestle with this most fundamental fact of human life: it is finite; each one of us will die. Peter Kreeft, a philosophy professor at Boston College (a Catholic Jesuit university), has written very insightfully on the topic of the meaning of death in his book Love is Stronger Than Death. Dr. Kreeft identifies 5 faces of death which we all must contend with at some point in our lives.

1. Death as the Enemy.

Death is the most bitter reality of human life. Our consumerist culture tries to encourage us to “whistle past the graveyard,” however, death will eventually take all those we love from us or take us from our loved ones. It is not pleasant to think about, but we must have the courage to face this reality. We have a saying in the Knights of Columbus, “Memento Mori, Tempus Fugit” (“Remember Death, Time Flies.”). It is right that we hate this reality, and as poet Dylan Thomas wrote, “Do not go gentle into that good night . . . Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” Death is our greatest foe, separating soul and body and lovers from each other.

2. Death as a Stranger.

For all our technological advancement, death reveals how little we truly know. In the first instance, as Jesus said we know not the day or the hour of our death. Also, how much do we truly know for certain about what is on the other side of death? For sure, as Catholic Christians we believe in the existence of the eternal afterlife (Heaven, Hell, etc.), but what do we really know about the experience of these realities? How are time and eternity related? Do we go “someplace” when we die? What does “someplace” mean with no body? There is a reason Shakespeare called death “the undiscovered country.” We are made humble before the mystery of death.

3. Death as a Friend.

As much as death is an enemy, it is also a friend. I once heard a symphony orchestra conductor on a radio interview define music as “the interplay between tone and silence moving through time.” I had never really thought of that. If music were just sounds from instruments and voices, it would be an unruly, irritating cacophony. It is the interplay of sound and silence governed by rhythm that gives music its pleasing order, beauty, and meaning. Similarly, the finitude that death gives to life makes each moment that we breathe unimaginably meaningful and precious. The reality of death calls us to appreciate the present moment and “seize the day” to the fullest.

4. Death as a Mother.

Using the image of a child in the womb, Dr. Kreeft compares our entire life in this world to the experience of a child in utero. The child in the womb thinks that all existence is like a 98.6-degree swimming pool where you are fed directly through your bellybutton without effort with a gentle rhythm of a beating heart marking the time. That’s all there is. Suddenly, one day you feel a cold breeze on the top of your head and the next thing you know someone is slapping you under bright lights, cutting off your food supply, and poking and prodding you. This experience is traumatic, but you are now born into a bigger, greater level of existence. We wouldn’t desire to go back. Similarly, it is through the trauma of death that we are born to eternal life, as the prayer attributed to St. Francis of Assisi states. We think that this life is all there is, but as St. Paul wrote, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9) Our earthly life is but a shadow of what will be revealed after our deaths.

5. Death as a Lover.

After the death and resurrection of Jesus, we can now experience our human death as an expression of love. Through the grace of the Paschal Mystery of Jesus’ compassionate suffering, death, and resurrection, we now have forgiveness of our sins and have been made a “new creation” through Baptism. “Dying you destroyed our death, rising you restored our life!” Jesus, as the Eternal Son of God, did not need to suffer and die, but he did take upon himself even that part of our human nature. Why? For no other reason than because he loves each one of us infinitely. (Philippians 2:6-10, John 3:16) Jesus came so that we can share in his abundant, eternal life, united with and in him. (John 10:10, 15:4) But in order to share in his eternal life, we must be united with him in his death. “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains but a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Those who love their life will lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” (John 12:24-25) If our lives and deaths are lived in communion with God and neighbor in compassionate love, we will share in Christ’s glory! (Romans 6:5)

So, while we commemorate All Souls’ Day in a more somber manner, our celebration is full of hope for eternal life through Baptism into Christ’s death and resurrection! The Jewish psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, who survived the concentration camps in World War II, wrote in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, “It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us . . . to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly.” May this liturgical commemoration, asking us to take a step back from our daily concerns to contemplate the meaning of our lives and deaths and to pray for those who are departed from us but alive in Christ Jesus who are being purified to experience the fullness of God’s perfect and holy love, help us to grow in faith, hope, and love unto eternal life in Christ our Savior.

John